Imposter Syndrome

If there is one ‘disease’ that afflicts many middle managers, it’s the dreaded Imposter Syndrome.

I call it a disease because it is debilitating and paralysing. It saps our strength and clouds our mind.

Imposter Syndrome is all-inclusive

The (not so) funny thing about the imposter syndrome is that it doesn’t just afflict the middle manager; it affects the C-suites, and even people highly established in their chosen fields.

Decorated actors Tina Fey and Tom Hanks, and celebrated poet Maya Angelou have all suffered from it. In fact, Academy award winning actress Lupita Nyong’o said, “I go through [acute imposter syndrome] with every role”.

In the business world, Shery Sandberg, COO of Facebook, is one of the highest profile victims of imposter syndrome. And just days before this post was written, Andrea Vahl, Social Media Consultant and Speaker, who co-authored the book Facebook Marketing All-in-One for Dummies and was also the Community Manager for Social Media Examiner, wrote about how to deal with imposter syndrome. This author of 2 books, who runs a successful consultancy, still deals with it!

Then comes the reality: high-powered and successful personalities have their highly-paid life and career coaches to turn to for help, but many middle managers may not. They’ve got to deal with this all on their own – without coaches or motivational gurus to snap them out of their funk.

We remember our own Imposter Syndrome moments clearly

As a middle manager myself, I remember being invited to participate in numerous panels and events as a speaker, but turned most of them down because of imposter syndrome. In my mind, I was certain I was going to be sniffed out, I was going to be laughed at, and all I would see in the audience were frowns and giggles.

I’ve learnt over time, that it’s mind over matter. There are many reasons for imposter syndrome, but the one that I experienced was based on what the audience would think of me. That they’d see me as a fake.

One day, I stumbled upon a simple piece of wisdom, which reminded me that it’s not about me; it’s about the others (or the audience). I was invited to speak because I had knowledge to share. If I could leave the audience with even one word or phrase of wisdom, I’d done my job.

Overcoming the disease

But to be able to do that, I had to:

1) change the story I was telling myself.

2) reframe my mind.

3) focus on the value I was going to deliver.

4) pinpoint the experience-based knowledge I was going to share.

Very importantly, I had to remember the age-old adage: You can’t please all the people all the time, but you can please some of the people some of the time.

Some rules of thumb to beat the Imposter Syndrome

So let’s take it one step further:

You can’t please all the people all the time – and you don’t need to.

You can please some of the people some of the time – and that’s good enough.

Oh, and a final word – how do you think I felt writing this post? 😉