Many of us are bed-mates with To Do lists. We diligently write down what we need to get done – on paper, on Trello Boards, on Microsoft Planner, or whatever other app we love using. Checking off the items one by one brings the action taker much satisfaction. Take it from us – we’re list makers, and we love powering through them. Nothing beats seeing lists that were once full of words, but became transformed with strikethroughs – whether analog or digital – across action items!
What’s a To Don’t list?
Flip that coin around: how many of us can say we share that same familiarity with To Don’t lists? First, a short spiel about the name: While we agree that the phrase ‘To Don’t List’ sounds a little awkward, it seems to have found its place in management-speak. The alternative is a ‘Not-To-Do’ list. We’ll stick with ‘To Don’t’.
To Do and To Don’t lists aren’t just about managing work. They can be applied to anything – housekeeping, getting personal affairs in order, personal projects like organising a party, and even managing one’s self. A 2018 Oprah article on what to include in the To Don’t list shares some tips on the self-management. Authors Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith list staying away from gossip fests and not rushing to answer the phone on the first ring as examples from women who shared some habits they’d love to drop.
In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, a large number of knowledge workers are working from home, and continuing to do so amid new waves of infections. The new normal has left us a little worse for wear, so let’s look at some of the most commonly discussed behaviours displayed during COVID-19 work-mode:
Work vs home
Have you found that the lines between work and home have blurred? For some, it has become hard to separate the two.
Languishing
Adam Grant’s much discussed New York Times article (‘There’s a name for the blah you’re feeling. It’s called Languishing’) and TED Talk on this very topic describes how people are feeling aimless and joyless, and simply muddling through the day.
Waning energy
How quickly do you feel zapped after starting work? If you could last till 5.30 or 6pm before, at what point now do you feel like you’ve had enough, and just can’t go on? Does this sound familiar? We see a few nodding heads.
Far from 10,000
Accept it, you’re not moving around very much. No more walks to the bus or train stop, to the nearby restaurants or cafes during lunch with your office mates, or to the local pub for an aprés-work tipple. From bed to work station to couch to work station to bed…repeat…you’d be hard pressed to make it to 2,000 steps each day
The list is a lot longer than the above four, we assure you.
Self-awareness and care
While a To Do list is for getting things done, a To Don’t list is catered for self-awareness and self-care. By proactively creating a To Don’t list, you shine the spotlight on the behaviours and activities that are preventing you from being your best self.
While it’s easy to pluck bad habits like ” eating too much” or “long nap after lunch” from thin air, we’d recommend being a little more clinical about it. Here’s our 4-Step recommendation:
Step 1: Create a table with 4 columns. In the first column, list your activities. You can either do it at the end of the day, but for maximum effect, we’d recommend listing your activities (email / project ABC / break / lunch / after-lunch-nap / etc.) as you progress through the day.
Step 2: In the second column, next to each activity, please an X if the activity was demoralising, or a V if it was uplifting or rejuvenating and gave you good energy.
Step 3: List the positives and negatives from each of those activities. Yes, even a good activity (eg. lunch) can have negatives (2-hour lunch over TV)
Step 4: Make a list of what you should keep, and what should change
Do this continuously for a week or two. You’ll soon discover that you’ve unearthed a whole host of habits and behaviours that you could do without. Did you recognise some of these?
– Too much email
– Little bouts of online games
– Not stopping work at an appropriate time to be with the family
– Forgetting to feed the family pet (again)
– Too many trips to the snack cupboard
– Distracted by WhatsApp messages
Saying “Yes” to every request that came your way
A To Don’t list is a great way to remind yourself of what’s important. Not only that, it helps you take back control of your day, and your life. And hey…your pet and/or your waistline will thank you for it.